Having even one friend at your job can help prevent feelings of loneliness at work, but many employees are opting out of the friend zone. “If I build trust and make a friend, great, but that’s not my primary objective. Your work and personal lives should be kept separate,” one Glassdoor Community member recently shared. They’re not alone. The majority of respondents in two recent Glassdoor polls agreed:
- Less than 25% of professionals said they had stayed in a job because they had a “work bestie.”*
- 53% said they avoid making connections at work because they want to keep work and personal life separate
While there are arguments in favor of keeping some distance, there’s also data that highlights the importance of work relationships. Adam Grant, Glassdoor’s Chief WorkLife Expert, said “Having friends at work predicts higher happiness and well-being,” adding that, “on average, people perform better when they’re working with friends.”
Modern work friendships
Blame it on hybrid work, or chalk it up to changing dynamics: Today’s workers are cautious about making work friends. A media executive in Glassdoor Community said, “Virtually my entire adult group of friends has been built upon work relationships from 20+ years ago when I first entered the NYC workforce in my mid-20s. But, now that I’m older, I definitely keep those worlds separated.”
Another respondent suggested that the decrease in work friends is just a sign of the times.
As an organizational psychologist, Grant observed that one factor affecting the need for office friendships is that American workers don’t stay at jobs as long as they once did. “Since we don’t plan to stick around, we don’t invest in the same way. We view coworkers as transitory ties, greeting them with arms-length civility while reserving real camaraderie for outside work,“ he explained.
The decline of the ‘work spouse’
The trend of referring to a close co-worker as a “work husband” or “work wife” is also losing steam. In a Glassdoor poll, only 21% of respondents described themselves as “work married,” while 44% said they would never have a work spouse.
Grant said he strongly prefers a term like “primary collaborator” or “closest colleague” to “work spouse,” noting that the marriage metaphor isn’t logical because it’s not a long-term commitment and it’s not monogamous.
“If you or they change roles or locations, you’re not suddenly divorced,” added Grant.
In that same poll, one respondent said, “I’ve had great work friends that could be considered ‘work spouses’ by some definitions, but we NEVER considered or called each other that out of respect for our own spouses.”
How to set healthy boundaries for work friendships
Work friendships work best with boundaries. “It’s worth discussing personal preferences around integration-segmentation,” Grant said. “Do you like to bring your work home and/or talk about your family at work, or do you prefer to keep your professional and personal lives separate?”
According to Grant, professional relationships benefit from a few structural guidelines:
- You don’t have to spend time outside the office with your work friends; you can just bond over shared work.
- Establish norms for feedback and conflict to make sure you’re honest with your work friends about work-related matters.
- Set up a weekly or monthly chat focused on helping one another grow and strengthening the relationship.
Our approach to work friendships has changed. Even if a work friend isn’t a real life ride-or-die, the time and effort spent nurturing work friendships could pay off in the long run.
Methodology: *This poll ran from January 21, 2025 through January 23, 2025, and was answered by over 800 U.S. professionals. Respondents could answer with either “Yes,” or “No, ” to the question, “Have you ever stayed at a job because you had a work bestie?”