- Perfectionist tendencies at work can often be linked to anxiety.
- A conversation with an author and podcast host who's an expert on the topic dives into how it shows up at work.
- Learn more about what to do about it and how you can find support.
If you’ve ever felt yourself tensing up while staring down a deadline or important meeting, you’re not alone. According to award-winning author and podcast host Morra Aarons-Mele, anxiety is the most common issue affecting mental health at work, and it’s important to have honest conversations about it.
“Data is increasingly showing that work is the biggest driver of most people's mental health," Aarons-Mele explained during a Fishbowl Live discussion of anxiety and perfectionism. “The bad news is that a lot of people say work has a negative effect on their mental health; at the same time, a lot of people find amazing self-efficacy and community and even joy at work. It's complicated.”
In a Q&A, Aarons-Mele explained how perfectionism and anxiety can take a toll on employees, along with strategies for taking care of your mental health.
Responses have been edited for length.
Glassdoor: Your latest book and podcast are called The Anxious Achiever, and you’ve talked about how anxiety can drive perfectionism. How do anxious achiever tendencies tend to show up at work?
Aarons-Mele: The funny thing about anxiety is that it shows up differently in thoughts and behaviors for everyone. A lot of people who feel anxiety will feel it physically: the racing heart and the tight chest. A lot of people tell me they get a tingle when they're anxious. There are common physical symptoms because it is a physical threat response. But, in terms of our thoughts and behaviors, especially at work, it really runs the gamut.
Glassdoor: How does work anxiety differ in those thoughts and behaviors?
Aarons-Mele: Some people, when they're anxious, will stay at work until midnight and make sure that everything is done. Some people will take everything on themselves and refuse to delegate. And then some people who are anxious at work leave. Some people go for a run. We all react differently, but we also have what I call our “greatest hits.” Anxiety is a habit, so we have patterns. What's really helpful is to look at your patterns, look at your greatest hits, and think, “Is this serving me or not?”
Glassdoor: A lot of people have high standards for themselves: When you talk about “perfectionism,” how does that differ from taking pride in your work?
Aarons-Mele: In psychology, perfectionism is really about anxiety because it isn’t about doing amazing work; it's worrying that if the work isn't amazing, you are lesser, you're bad, you're not worth it, you're lazy. Psychologists would say, “Do the work, work really hard, but try not to carry such a load of emotional judgment.” I think that's really the distinction. I often think about it as, “Can I turn down the emotional temperature and have less of an investment in the outcome?”
Glassdoor: Does remote or hybrid work impact anxiety?
Aarons-Mele: The data shows that it depends. A lot of people really love remote work, and then some people really miss being in person; some people like to do both. I don't think it's easy to say yes or no: These new work patterns are disrupting our expectations. They're changing a lot of the norms in how most of us have worked for years, and then we're dealing with new generations who've never worked any other way. That creates anxiety. Change creates anxiety. Uncertainty creates anxiety. We have to learn to communicate in new ways so that we can reduce anxiety as we try to figure this all out.
Glassdoor: Tone can be very helpful in understanding how someone is perceiving a discussion or responding to your work. What advice do you have for balance between phone, Zoom, or even audio messages versus text that might help reduce anxiety?
Aarons-Mele: Never have a conversation that is beyond facts over purely digital media because it's really challenging. We all know that the majority of communication is nonverbal, and we rely on that. Modulating tone is so important. I think that it's really, really important that if you're going to give feedback or if you're going to give any kind of messaging that could be construed in a sort of anxiety-provoking way by another person to not do it in text. At the same time, though, when we don't have clear expectations, we can also get anxious. Where texts can be really amazing is, “I would like this by 5:00 PM on Thursday; I would like these charts,” because then it's really clear and you can refer back to it. That's one of the really helpful things about text. I think using both is good.
Glassdoor: Do team messaging systems like Slack fuel anxiety?
Aarons-Mele: I find Slack and any kind of instant messaging communication very stressful. I think a lot of people do too, because what it does is it really furthers the always-on culture. It creates a cycle of responsiveness and sort of a dopamine-seeking behavior that I think is really anxiety-provoking for a lot of us. Taking the pace of conversation into account is really, really important.
Glassdoor: Do you have any advice for how people who are feeling anxious at work can find support?
Aarons-Mele: I'm not a doctor, but if you can please get professional help, there's no shame in it. The great thing about getting therapy for anxiety is anxiety is the most common mental health ailment in the world, hands down. We have really good treatments for it. One of the great silver linings, if you will, of the pandemic is that most companies now offer much more robust mental health plans. Take advantage of it. If you work at a small business, which a lot of people do, myself included, then it's more challenging. But I think that investing in your mental health and taking it seriously is one of the best things you can do, not just for yourself, but for your career.